Captain Underpants or The Pee-er Who Cried Wolf

Growing up I had an aunt who liked to tickle me when I was little. It was more of a torture technique than a fun experience. It was more of a jabbing then a tickling. I used to tell her I had to pee so she would stop. I had to say it about twenty times before she would stop but eventually she would cease and desist. I made the mistake of telling A this and then my defense mechanism was null and void. He would tickle me and I would say stop stop I'm gonna pee. Then when he stopped and I was far enough away from tickle range I would yell psych! Well.... last night he pinned me down because I was annoying him by talking into his nipple like a microphone and he started to tickle me. Well I started to yell "stop stop stop I'm gonna pee" and he didn't stop. So I yelled even more "no really I'm gonna pee I swear to god I'm gonna pee." Well he didn't stop and........... I peed my pants.

Sex and Advertising........

I made it back from Penn. in one piece. Can I just tell you 18 hours in a car is not really my thing. I have sporadic ADHD and being stuck on interstate 84 in a durango is not a good place for one of these spasms. So I came to learn the only thing in the state is billboards and fields of corn and more billboards. There were two high points in my trip all of the road signs that read CAUTION DUI DRIVERS! and CAN YOU AFFORD IT....DUI? I guess if I lived there I would be forced to drink too. The other high point would be while reading the map I realized there is an Intercourse Penn.! Again that is probably all they have to do there is boink and drink.

In wedding news we have booked a reception hall and a church. We can finally calm down now that the important stuff is done. My classes have started which means I'll be a spaz until I graduate in December. After I get my dipolma I'm gonna set the stage on fire. That's all for now...

God likes Moo La La

So I've been busy with work and with wedding plans. I think we've got a date set. We're going to book the hall this weekend then it's time to find a church. We're looking to get married on Oct 20, 2007. We haven't settled on a church yet but we have a few narrowed down. Getting married in a church is something we both have agreed on. It's very important to A that we do so. I even made my conformation last two years ago so we could be married in a church. I think it's weird to be married in a church you have to make a "contribution" to the church. A contribution to several hundred dollars. Does god really want us to pay that much money....

On the other hand I have to go to Pennsylvania for work this Friday. It's going to be a day trip. Yup a day trip. (6 hours each way) I'm going to Lancaster which is where the Amish live....can you feel the excitement.

Updates

So it's been a while since I've update with more then a few words. Every since the engagement my life has been hectic and a whirl wind of emotions. Work has been the same with very little changes. Everyone has been busy doing their thing or asking me about the wedding. J is moving to a different area which means no more long rants about J and how annoying being around J is. That is unless I too get placed in J's department in the near future.

A proposed to me last Saturday at a family function. He got down on one need in front of 40 of our friends and our parents and asked me to be his wife. His Mother and my Mother knew it was going to happen but everyone else was just as shocked as I was. Ever since that day my life has been filled with wedding magazines, planning, and dollar signs. Nothing about a wedding is cheap including the magazines. It is all very exciting and we are looking at Oct 20 2007 as our date. I couldn't let A have all of the fun so tonight I bought him an engagement gift. He bought me a beautiful ring to signify he wanted to be with me forever and I bought him a Nintendo DS. I know it doesn't seem romantic but he loves it and I love him and that is all that matters.

I went to the doctor today to find out the results of my Cat Scan and was told I probably had a cyst in my ovaries or in my uterus that burst causing all the pain and a slight viral infection. That isn't a good thing but it was better then the news I was expecting to get. As for my mother she is still wheel chair bound and awaiting her prognosis.

That's all the excitement on my end and I'll be sure to update more frequently.

Long Awaited

I'M ENGAGED!!! Details to come.....

NYC DMB

What a weekend! We got a killer thunderstorm late Thursday night that knocked out our power. We were supposed to leave for NY but decided to stay home because we were beat and to top it all off I still wasn't feeling well. We made all of these decisions prior to the loss of power. Even after the power went out we managed to entertain ourselves by being stupid. I forget how funny inside jokes can be and how stupid people can get when they are bored. Well we left for NY early Friday morning sans power. When we got there I was quickly reminded how much I hate driving in the city. I think that all of the car horns should be dis-engaged because people beep at anything and everything. Seriously it is necessary to consistently use your horn? We walked around China Town, The Village, SoHo, and various other places entertaining ourselves until E got out of Work. We met up with her and then went out to dinner with A's cousin and his fiance. I drank a little too much sangria and ended up slightly tipsy and dellusional at 4am. Saturday we went to see DMB at Randall's Island and it was awesome. (I know you are jealous Arbusto) We thought it was a day concert but we were mistaken and it was a festival. We ended up waiting 8 hours to see DMB but it was worth it. We were covered in dirt and all gross from laying in the sun all day but I did get a nice tan. I refused to use the porter potties and held my pee for over 12 hours which must be some sort of record. We left Saturday night after the concert because I wanted to sleep in my own bed in the AC because yet again I didn't feel well. We got home at 3am and I immediately passed out.

Needless to say our power did not come on until late Saturday so now we are trying to figure out if the meat in the freezer survived the the outage or if it's bad. We finally did a real grocery shopping and this is what happens. From now on it's back to the good old days of vodka and water in the fridge!

Why You Should Never Lie to Your Mother.. or.... Instant Karma's Effect on Others

Warning this may become uncomfortably gross and too personal for you to continue reading.... just a friendly warning...


So I had to go to the doctor yesterday to finally find out what my problem is. The last three months my period has been late. The doctor did not wish to see me and swore up and down I was not pregnant because the home test said so. He prescribed me this terrible hormone drug Provera to induce my period swearing if I was indeed pregnant it would not hurt me or the baby. I took it for 4 days and became violently ill. I called the doc back and he told me to discontinue it and if I did not get my period in a week then to resume the meds until I got too sick to take them (brilliant plan) and he'd see me when he got back from VACATION. So a week goes by and "my friend" is no where to be found. I started the meds again and immediately became sick. I made an appointment to see him yesterday as it was his first day back in the office. Well I woke up yesterday and surprise surprise guess who decided to show up. I called him because I was spiking a fever all weekend and had been in huge amounts of incapacitating pain all week. He didn't feel I was really sick enough to be seen. Soooo.... I got in my car and I went to the ER and they thought I was sick enough to schedule me for a CAT Scan today. They also felt the need to call him and bitch him out cause clearly I am not faking. They told me I am not pregnant but can not guarantee I was not pregnant at one time and the meds made me miscarrying leaving a blockage (aka my baby) in my ovary or my tubes. Fabulous! So I go for my scan today and ensure my Mother I do not need her there as A will be accompanying me. I then tell A I do not need him as I am a big girl and can do it on my own. I do not like people to see me this way.


Well my Mother called me and I was in the middle of my scan and did not answer. She got worried because she thought the scan was later in the day and knows that I will not call anyone if I get ill until after I have taken care of the basics myself. I can't really be blamed for this behavior as I learned it from her. She proceeds to call A and becomes frantic when she learns that he is at work and not with me as I had told her. (Keep in mind that despite the fact that I am a grown adult I am an only child) Being my Mother she left work frantically and rushed to the hospital to be by my side for this traumatic experience she believed I was having. By this time I am leaving the hospital because a scan takes all of 30minutes. I begin pulling out of the parking lot to go to CVS and there I find my Mother laying on the side of the road. I was hysterical. Apparently in her quest to be with me she saw me pulling away and in her attempt to flag me down she tore all of the ligaments in her leg. I then spent the rest of the day with her in the ER. I felt terrible and now she is bed ridden and will possibly need surgery. A and I got Yankees tickets for tomorrow's game but he will be going solo as I will be nursing my poor Mother back to health. I am such a terrible daughter.........and this is why you should NEVER lie to your Mother. Apparently instant Karma will not only effect you it will effect the people around you if you have enough of it built up.



**EDIT** I should add in that my Mother is only 42 years old and is fairly young. I did not want to confuse you and have you thinking I am any more horrible and my Mother is in fact 80 years old and I am making her rush to my side.