The love of My life.....

So yesterday marked exactly one year until our wedding day! A sent me flowers at work and we had a great dinner at home together. A wanted to go out to dinner but why waste the money when we already took out pork chops. We watched a movie and relaxed. We were actually in bed by 10 because we've both been so busy with school and work we're completely drained. We're leaving to go on vacation in a month and I can't wait! We both need a vacation to remind us how to relax and step away from the craziness that encompasses our life.

Music to My Ears........

I was never really big into different types of music until I met A. I mean I like certain kinds of music like angry girl and teenage angst music. I never really had an appreciation for music I don't' think. I didn't start listening to rap until my senior year of high school and even then it took a while. Now if you look at my CD's that's all I've got. Recently I've been listening to a lot of older music from when I was growing up. For instance right now I'm listening to the Butthole Surfers. Remember them? I've been listening to a lot of 80's music redone by punk bands which I think is both entertaining and hilarious. I mean come on a punk version of 99 Red Balloons who could resist? I always listened to Bob Dylan and the Beatles and of course Arbusto's favorite DMB! I however did not quote DMB in my yearbook like the other 250 members of my graduating class. Lisa Loeb is an all time favorite and now I'm listening to a lot of Barenaked Ladies and Dashboard confessionals with some Jack Johnson mixed in there. I forgot how good the music of "my day" was. I'm slowly moving away from rap and doing the mellowy punk thing again. I told some one the other day one of my all time favorite songs was Glycerin by Bush they looked at me like I was nuts. They couldn't believe I listen to Bush. It kind of makes me sad though when at lunch time the radio does the "back in the day" portion and it is my music. Am I old? I've been digging through the old CD's and I'm definitely turning into one of those people who listens to out dated music full blast in their car like it's no big deal.

Socially Accepted

God what a long weekend or should a say passed two weekends. A and I have been on the run the last few weekends as we have become social butterflies. It's nice to have people want to hang out with us and invite us every where. At the same time it sucks because we almost never decline the offer as it's nice to step away from the adult us. The weekend we went to a college football game and tail gated for 5 hours. Then we went on a haunted hayride which also included drinking. We were going to follow it up with some quality bar time but we reluctantly decided after spending from 10am to 10pm in a drunken state it was time to retire to our bed. I paid for it all day Sunday with my killer migrane. I wasn't hung over it wasn't that kind of headache it was a blinding mess which resulted in me spending most of the day.

Come on I dare you.......

So.... I'm driving today and there is a squirrel in the middle of the road. I am not one to run over innocent little animals. I will slam on my breaks to save even the littlest of frogs hopping in the rain. It makes me sad when I see dead animals in the road and I'm sure they could have been saved but some stupid friggin' idiot hit them any way. So back to my friend the squirrel. There he is standing in the road facing me with an acorn in his mouth. I wait... he stares... I inch the car forward slightly... he takes a few small hops... I inch again... he hops again with wild determination in his eyes... I coast a little farther.. he runs at the car and then darts into a yard. I stop dumb founded because I think I may have played chicken with a squirrel and won. Is that possible?

Sense of Sanity

A came back late last wednesday and I have felt better ever since. I was an absolute maniac without him here. I was miserable and felt completely lost. We had a great weekend since the weather was beautiful. We did the traditional weekend in New England bit by visiting local attractions and the cider mill. We went to Oktoberfest yesterday and cleaned the house today. I feel normal again and my baby is home!

Self Reflection

I am not me
I do not know who I am
I do not like what I am becoming
I am lost....
Inside myself.............................

Still cranky cranky cranky

Today wasn't any better..... I'm still a cranky biotch. I know I am cranky and I know I'm meaning unnecessarily mean to my peers and colleagues and I am fine with that. I put out a general warning today to all that encountered me that I was in "a mood." I took it upon my self today to clean out the fridge on my floor. I preceded to through out everything that I could get my hands on that wasn't mine. I even threw away nasty tupperware containers without a thought. Hey I wasn't about to clean out moldy lunch from ages past to save a stupid dollar container. I know I'm even being cranky on here. A is coming home soon and I promise I will return to "normal" by then........maybe. Until he gets back I'll be in bed wallowing.

Miserable Bitch.......

For some reason lately I have been going through mood swings like crazy. Sometimes I really think I could be bi-polar. I have been miserable lately and A left for FL this morning for a funeral. His not being here has made me even more miserable. It seemed like nothing went right all day long for me.

I got to Work early to do an early morning transport for one of my clients. Currently her family is homeless and have a lot of other issues going on so I woke up at the crack of dawn to help her run errands and she blew me off. I love it! I woke up extra early and started Work almost an hour early to be given the big F YOU!

I did minimal work today because it is Monday and nobody really does work on Monday. Not having a ton of things to do made me think of being blown off and being alone.

On the way to the bank this afternoon I had the pleasure of experiencing massive amounts of road rage, which comes with the mood swings. I was driving to the bank on a two lane road. The left lane is a turn only lane that lasts for two lights, you have to turn left at one of the two lights. The right lane is the regular traffic lane. So I'm driving along singing at the top my lungs when I see the massive white work van coming into my lane at increasing speeds. I lay on the horn to warn this bastard he's about to side swipe me. He proceeds to yell at me!!! I make a face and let it go. He then attempts to come into my lane again! Hello my car didn't disappear I'm still driving. I lay on the horn again and then he dares to scream "what the fuck are you doing I'm trying to merge" I yell back "apparently you don't know what the horn means so I hope you get this" preceded by me flipping him off. Turns out we were both going to the same place how awkward is that? He didn't dare say anything to me. I should have let the fuck hit me I would have gotten a new paint job and the rest of the week off of work due to trauma sustained from the crash.

I get home and I attempt to make dinner. I bought a chicken cutlet at the store and made rice pilaf. Failed attempt one. I cut up the chicken and dipped it in Blue Cheese dressing failed attempt two. I then drenched it in sauce and cheese to make faux chick parm. Failed attempt number three!!! I hate dinner.

Oh and to top off my mood swinging madness did I mention that A will be gone until Thursday!!! I will be all alone and miserable eating crap dinner until I can recover from my life.