Man Jeans, Ass-Less Chaps, and Smith

So you might be wondering why the strange title.... well it's just a indicator that despite my old age I still am a wild and crazy kinda gal. A few weeks ago I was at dinner with Jenna, Toby, and Anthony and we were discussing the no shirt, no shoes, no service requirement. Me, being the smart ass that I am, brought up the idea of ass-less chaps. If I went into a place wearing ass-less chaps would I be turned away? Technically I am still wearing pants. In fact there is nothing about pants in the service agreement. Would ass-less chaps be considered a no no. I mean despite the obvious fashion faux pax. So again being me... I asked our waitress if I could wear ass-less chaps and be served. She didn't see why not I mean they are pants (ass-less none the less). She couldn't really comment either way but if it was up to her I would be allowed. I told her I would bring a towel to sit on that I wasn't a complete animal.
Next on the agenda is man jeans. Tonight I was trying on Anthony's pants for pure amusement. Yea I find it funny. He bought new jeans that were way too small for him because they were marked wrong but they looked super hot on me. The butt was too big and gave away the fact that they were men's jeans. I was talking to Robin and she kindly reminded me there is an extremely fine line between wearing your boyfriend's clothes and looking like a lesbian. Good Call! But we have decided that our new code for lesbian will be "she wears man jeans."
Rob and I are big into codes. We like having the power to talk about people right to their face without them knowing. We used to refer to someone's boyfriend as Smith. When she was around we could still talk about how ugly and gross Smith was right in front of her. It really made life easier. Except however when you f-up in front of that person. For example one day he called for her and Robin being the responsible person she is gave her the message. Only she did so like this: "Paula* Smith errrrrr John* called for you this afternoon." * indicates all names have been changed to protect Me and Robin's shallow bitchness. I know this is really wrong and mean but hey at least we're doing it to people's faces. ERRR kind of.